In the last article, we talked about four negative scenarios that can occupy our attention and bring us to avoid a situation; so doing we reduce our ability to feel our body.

Someone asked me what to do, to overcome this kind of patterns. More practically, how to train in order to be able to face what is frighting, uncomfortable, unknown instead of automatically avoid such situation.

Actually, there are no general recipes: we are all different and different is our personal story. That said, I think that the first step is to recognise what kind of situation you “normally”, automatically avoid.     

For example:

• to talk with certain persons or to mention a topic or to express what you want, your feelings or what was difficult in a certain situation with the person involved.
• to do things alone : go out to the movies, travel, learn something new, eat in the restaurant, start a new training in sport or a course.
• to do unknown things : try new kind of food, join your friend on their hobbies.

Once you start to be more aware about the activities you normally avoid, you can start a practical training: pick one of them – one that doesn’t seam too hard – and try it out.

This is actually the difficult part : this practice will offer you the experience of feeling the discomfort that normally prevents you to do this activity. By exposing yourself to this discomfort in a conscious way, its impact on you will change. You will learn to face what is provoking fear in a different manner.
Remember that you can also ask for support 🙂

So by practicing one activity of your list in a conscious way you will notice the way you react to fear : what you say in your mind, the physical sensations, the mood. All this will help you to learn about your own fear reactions. For example, you may become very tired, angry, nervous, demotivated, forgetful, or so busy with something else.

Notice that to recognise the act of avoiding is often not evident at all. We normally perceive it as “normal”, “natural”, “reasonable”. The negative scenarios in our mind, that we discussed in the previous article, may help you to notice where, in your life, you are avoiding to do something. When you recognise it, you will be able to couple it to a physical and to an emotional state. So you will learn how your fear reaction manifests itself.
It will prepare you better to face the insecurities and the fears you will meet in your journey.

As always, I will be very happy to support you.

Picture taken in Val Mustair.