Before the Covid crisis, I had the intention to write an article about the “stressors”, the situations and attitudes that we meet and/or we maintain in our life and that provoke negative stress in our bodies (1). Of course, now that we are in a challenging situation, to reflect on that seems not to be a priority 🙂
A greater priority may be to reflect about how to deal with the renouncements to a certain number of activities : meeting people we love, going out, traveling,… Of course, these renouncements are our contribution to reduce the spread of the virus. We may also argue that what is required to us during these times is not a “big deal”: we will return to the activities we suspended. But when we experience a sense of loss, specially when we have to cancel visiting our families and friends, holidays that were planned or celebrations, …. This needs to be recognized.
When we try to ignore what is difficult and painful, even if our rational mind judges it as silly, it can make us feel depressed, above all if it is connected with the reduction of our sense of freedom.
To take care of this I recommend you– and I’m practicing that myself – to work with … mourning. I am aware that this sounds very dramatic, but during this period characterized by the renouncement of several activities, the little and the big pains we experience, can consume the energy and block our ability to adapt and being resilient.
Because we need our energy, particularly in this period, it is important to acknowledge our loss, means not to deny that we are touched by them. Being touched – with pain or fear – involves to feel our loss even if they are only temporary. Even more important, being touched will allow us to feel what is positive during this period: less stress, more contacts with people we love, more rest and sleep, calmer days, the opportunity to enjoy the family…
So acknowledge the activities you miss, even if for your rational mind seems silly, helps the transformation from mourning to mobilizing your energy.
If you wish to work with that, I suggest you to prepare 2 lists:
- What are you missing during the quarantine? What did you renounce at?
Give yourself the space/time to feel the emotions connected with it.
Then describe next each item, what you were expecting to get from it. To connect with this feelings will allow you to acknowledge also what you love.
- What are you enjoying during the quarantine?
Again give yourself the space/time to feel it.
Then describe next each item, what you get from it.
Probably some of the items of the first list are the activities you may want to “start with”, once that the quarantine is over. And some of the items of the second list are the activities you would like to keep in your life after the quarantine.
Let’s use this period to allow a change inside you that will maintain itself even after the Covid-crisis: remember what is important for your heart!
If you need support for clarifying what you are mourning or what you need to celebrate, I can support you via Skype! Waiting to meet you soon at my praxis!
(1) I took this term from a book of Gabor Maté, “When the body says no, the cost of hidden stress”, Vermillon London, 2019. First publication 2003 in Canada.