We are at the end of March and I would like to ask you a question: do you still remember what resolutions you made at the end of 2023?
Making a resolution for the coming year has become a fairly common practice: we declare our intention to improve ourselves, to take better care of ourselves, to make our lives better, more satisfying or more exciting.
Then we give it some attention and, as soon as everyday life resumes after the festivities and holidays, we forget the fact that we wanted to bring change into our lives and we abandon our resolutions, often overwhelmed by the things we have to do.

Does this ring a bell?    

Setting intentions remains a positive practice worth cultivating, and not only when a new year begins.
The intention to change or improve can be seen as a practice to take time for oneself, to connect with oneself with the aim of developing a self-caring attitude, possibly also towards others. To strengthen or develop skills. Or to create more energy in daily life.

Potentially, it is a great way to get to know oneself better.

In general, it seems to me that the concretising of an intention depends – perhaps strangely – more on the methodology one applies than on the intention itself.
If we consider that motivation can fluctuate – which is normal! – and that we often want to achieve results quickly, when it takes more commitment and perseverance we may be tempted to give up with a more or less pronounced feeling of defeat.
In practical terms, I believe that in order to realise an intention, regardless of its content, it is necessary to develop the practice of dedicating time to oneself.

Easy to say, more complicated to realise, dedicating time means moving away from what you are used to do, freeing up time to devote to the new activity.
It means being clear about what you want to do less of for the reason that it consumes too much time. I emphasise ‘doing less’ because, although rationally it seems easier to completely stop an activity that consumes too much time and energy, in reality this activity also offers benefits that can be difficult to give up: distraction, feeling of treating oneself to a moment that feels good, impression of doing what needs to be done or of having control over one’s surroundings.

It takes effort to reduce something we do maybe not so consciously. But by working on ourselves, we strengthen our level of attention to our activities and experiences. As I have written before, it is a good, even if difficult and uncomfortable, project to get to know ourselves better.

So, to take the time to reduce a habit – as a basis for realising intentions – I recommend combining a breathing practice with a reflection practice. Here is the sequence I suggest we follow.

Practice 4×2

• Inhale slowly and deeply, counting to 4, then exhale slowly and deeply, counting to 4. The aim is to calm the mind, relax the muscles and get more in touch with the body, i.e. the here and now.

Reflect

• Clarify which habits you would like to reduce: e.g. time spent on social media, overtime at work, too much housework.
• Note what benefits this habit offers you: e.g. entertainment and distraction, gratification, sense of control.
• Then pay attention to actions that would allow you to reduce the habit to create more space: for example, saying no to certain requests that come from those around you but also from yourself out of a sense of obligation.
  Or the need to reorganise your daily schedule. Or change – and communicate to those around you – your new priorities.

Repeat the 4×2 to integrate

I always suggest practising reflection by writing by hand on paper, because it engages the body and brain connections more. And also because writing by hand makes one slow down 🙂 .

As always, I will be happy to support you in this process!