Some of my clients describe, during their sessions with me, how their negative thoughts cause tensions, anxiety and even sleep problems, and how difficult this is to change.
Breathing exercises are very useful because, by paying attention to the practice, we channel the mind into the body – into the present moment – and in this way we can stop or alleviate the physical reaction.  

The link between our thoughts and the body’s response can be difficult to notice. But even when we are aware of this automatism, changing our way of thinking is not easy. There are a number of popular practices that can have a positive influence on our mental state: physical activity :-), mindfulness, gratitude, valuing the positive events that take place during our day. These practices help to change the way we automatically perceive our reality and have a beneficial influence on our physical, mental and emotional state.

It seems to me that it can also be useful to pay attention to the way thoughts themselves unfold in order to better notice what type of functioning is underlying them: it’s a question of observing our thoughts with an attitude – as detached and curious as possible.

3 questions can help you do this:

• How this way of thinking makes me feel in my body?
• What problem is the mind trying to solve or prevent?
• Is it something that has already happened, or is it something that will happen in the future?

The first question establishes how the body reacts under the influence of a specific way of thinking. Our physical state will help us to understand what is disturbing or has disturbed our balance. We can observe whether, behind the physical tensions in the body, there is the experience of being humiliated, hurt, insecure, nervous, wrong, etc.

The second question allows us to make the link between the body and our mind, to see how our system has detected a ‘problem’ and our mind tries to find a solution, often by applying a stereotyped way of thinking – i.e. one that is known and automatic.
Sometimes it may be something small that ‘just’ needs to be recognised.
Sometimes it’s something we have done and even if the action has no consequences, we realise later that we are not happy with it.
Sometimes it’s something someone else has done, to us or to someone else, and we realise that it was hurtful, irritating or disturbing.
Maybe it was done with intent, maybe not. Maybe it needs to be addressed, maybe not.

The third question tries to explore the actions we could have done or would like to do. Sometimes we end up going through rather unrealistic scenarios, but they can serve to highlight the type of action we’d like to be able to take, even if not in the extremes our minds produce: being able to respond, to challenge, to defend ourselves. Or acts of courage against injustice. Or just giving ourself the freedom not to react and to walk away from a situation that we feel is negative for us.

I hope you’ll find some inspiration to help you manage your thoughts better. But remember the importance of engaging your body in activities that will help you focus on what you’re doing in the present moment – the breathing and the physical sensations you’re experiencing.

As always, I’m happy to support you in your practice. Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you have any questions, or would like help in working on your negative thoughts.

Photo taken at Nonam during the exhibition in August 2023.