In the last article, we started a reflection about our self-confidence and what happen in the body when this self-confidence is lacking and we found ourselves doubting about our competences, opinions and even our being.
I did suggest boosting your self-confidence by acknowledge what you achieved, did or learned so to train your attention towards what gives you confidence and satisfaction.

Because it is very common for our brain to overanalyse what is “problematic”, our attention focuses automatically on what is imperfect, what is missing or what is lacking, in our life, in our work or in our relationships.
For some persons, this mechanism is so “normal” that they do not realise the negative effects of self-criticism. When the focus is too often in what is “not” – not good enough, not perfect enough, not attractive enough – this provokes a constant level of stress into the body. It is like if a part of us is constantly aware that there is a problem.

From the bodyawareness perspective, it means not to have a good connection with the body and its sensations. These connections would help the person to perceive the constant extra effort going on in the body and to realise the need to relax and to take it easy.
If you are not sure about how much this mechanism concerns you, you can start by paying attention to the way you “normally” talk to yourself, in these 3 contexts.

• Are you addressing to yourself in a nice, friendly, supportive way? Or your tone is more critical, hard and demanding?
• How much are you comfortable in “making mistake”? Can you take it easy, learn from it, and let it go? Or do you find yourself busy with what happened, over-justifying yourself, explaining the situation, or blaming others?
• Can you be passive, without your mind “pushing” you back in action because you have so much to do?

These 3 contexts are connected with the attempt to control yourself. Excessive control is connected with the fear that you are not good enough. But by exerting excessive control, you maintain the experience of „not good enough“, like a negative spiral nourishing itself.
When you notice more what is going on into your body and its sensations, you practice a pragmatic way to assess your self-confidence: it helps to paying more attention to the way you consider yourself and supports you in developing a more positive perception of yourself. By assessing your level of relaxation and of easiness in different situations, you can check and strengthen your self-confidence.

As always, I will be happy to support you in strengthening your positive perception on yourself 🙂

Picture taken in Sicily, La Valle dei Templi, by Massimo Martino