In the last article, we talked about creating a state of wonder, so to nourish another kind of attention.
We are often paying attention to our reality through the lens of being busy with a « to do list », with worries and problems – real, potential or imaginary. In this state, our Inner Judge gets a lot of material for comparing and criticising what we do and how we are. The results are stress, dissatisfaction, insecurity, even anxiety.
The kind of attention I recommend to nourish is the one we experience when we are „simply“ in the present. It can happen when we admire art or Nature. It helps to shift our attention from doing to being.
It is also bonded with being more able to appreciate : a wonderful melody, a magnificent landscape, a lovely moment with friends and family. Or simply to enjoy the daily life activities.  

One way to nourish this kind of attention and perception consists in developing the ability to recognise what you have achieved.
When your mind is only working according with the many next things to do and the attention is focused on “what next”, you may be exposed to two main issues :

• You encounter troubles in integrating and appreciating what you did. Because your attention is already focused in “what next”, little energy is given to recognise and valorise the tasks or situations already lived. It made also difficult to learn from them.
• Your mind is overstimulated by being always busy with the next thing to do. This is producing a lot of stress and enhance an attitude connected with efficiency – fast and quick. This can be in opposition with the attitude of care and taking time for someone or something.

The first issue includes the risk that you become dependent of other people’s validation: as you don’t take the time or you don’t have the practice to check in in yourselves you are looking for external validation. But when also “your” people are busy or worried, they may not be able to give you the recognition you are needing. Then the feeling of frustration, emptiness, dissatisfaction or resentment may grow inside your attention.

The second issue is connected with the lack of attention toward the competences and abilities you have shown: your “soft skills” (1). If you don’t train your perception in valorising them, you stay oblivious about how you can really achieve something. Then when these soft skills will be needed, being unaware of them may generate more stress and insecurity, doubts and inability to show the confidence you would love to embody.

These two issues provoke insecurity and agitation. The mind is too active but not participating to the work of integration, self valorisation and self care. So, stop and take a moment to reflect on your achievements, on the conclusion of projects, on your contribution to situations, on what you learned.

As we also approach the end of the year, you may focus on what you did, lived, experienced and learned during this year.
You may choose to take some time every day until Christmas, to note down and reflect on this subjects.

I always recommend to write it down on paper. I know it sounds a bit old school – and probably is – but the writing activity stimulates more the brain that “just” tapping on a phone or a computer. It helps then the process of reflecting and integrating.

Enjoy the process of developing more recognition about your achievements.
And as always I will be very happy to support you in this process.

Picture taken in Corsica.
(1) Soft skills refer to human and behavioural competencies, most often acquired outside the school or university sphere.